22 1 / 2014
Why does your smile always light up the room
And we stare like an audience and automatically assume
That you know more than you are sharing
But it will never stop anyone from caring
I wish I was articulate to say things in my head
But they always sound so much better unsaid.
Around you I feel like any step could be my last.
I’m afraid of all the mistakes from my past.
I could soliloquize and sonnet you
But these words are all I have to use
When my heart is racing and I can’t get you off my mind.
All night and it’s still not one of a kind.
Can you forgive me?
There’s nowhere else that I’d rather be
Than having you right here next to me
And singing along to my predictable rhymes
And we can sing about all of the times
That I hesitated and we weren’t together,
And we just talked about the weather,
And everything under the sun
And the moon and the stars and the skies
And it’s still staring at me
Shining right out of your beautiful eyes
Like these words that keep spilling out
Willing out of my fingers like ink to the page
Like the beast that is finally free from the cage
That is how
Is it even rhyming anymore?
You empower me to what I want to be?
Is that what New England blood does to me?
14 1 / 2014
All alone now and no one listens.
I sit by myself in a crowded room
A hundred people here and no one sees
But I hear the shadows calling my name.
They want my flesh.
I feel them pulling and tearing at me.
Bits of me are falling off into the dark.
How can I hide if I was never there,
Never here or anywhere anyone sees?
Can you see the scars?
Bits of me are fading into shadow
And I can’t pull myself together now
Parts that are fading are eating my strength
And I find myself welcoming the dark.
Hide myself from me
For I get violent, there in the shadows
And there’s no one to attack but myself.
See? You’re not here. She’s not here. He’s not here.
I’m scared that I do want to be alone.
Save what’s left of me.
14 1 / 2014
There once was a fish tank, wet and green.
Some fish were nice. Some fish were mean.
Six Danios and the Red Shark, they ruled the pool
And the other fish would hide when they saw the school.
We’ll call them the mafia ‘cause they watched their backs
And, when the swordfish went belly up, they covered their tracks.
Sebastian the crab was the mob’s favorite prey.
They’d get close enough to pinch, then teasingly swim away.
Then, one green morning, the tank grew real quiet.
Danio one went missing and the others ‘bout had a riot.
Another Danio said, “He sleeps with the fishes—wait.”
And with that sad little outburst, Danio two sealed his fate.
The fish were all sullen; it was quite a sight to see.
Then next thing you know—the disappearance of Danio three.
It skipped Danio four and went straight for Danio five
And all the other fish were happy just to be alive.
Then Danio four disappeared like the Titanic
And all the fish went crazy in a mass tank-wide panic.
For Hey! Ho! Sebastian had committed a crime.
Near the rock lied five corpses all covered in grime.
Sebastian, in time, became everyone’s friend
‘Cause he, single claw-ed-ly, brought their fear to an end.
The tank was peaceful for about a week
Then the water got murky and it started to reek.
“Quick! A head count!” the Angel fish cried.
“We’ve got to find out which one of us died.”
Sebastian was missing, they turned to the Shark.
But his corner of the tank was scary and dark.
But the Shark and Sebastian did not get in a fight.
The crab just got stuck in the filter one night.
All of the fish got really depressed
‘cause they thought Sebastian was one of the best.
But the broken filter, there’s no air in the water!
This could possibly turn into a sad fishy slaughter.
One by one, they all went belly up.
The Angelfish was last with a long tragic ‘bupp’.
The fish tank was silent, the water was stale.
And thus is the end of our sad, fishy tale.
25 11 / 2013
"And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness."
10 11 / 2013
"There are certain people who come into your life, and leave a mark. Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their names pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways, and when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless."
10 11 / 2013
"I made up my mind that I would hold onto nothing, that I would expect nothing."
26 10 / 2013
"Keep on writing, no matter what! That’s the most important thing. As long as you have a job on hand that absorbs all your mental energy, you haven’t much worry to spare over other things. It serves as a suit of armor.Eugene O’Neill
26 10 / 2013
The university gave me a new, elegant
classroom to teach in. Only one thing,
they said. You can’t bring your dog.
It’s in my contract, I said. (I had
made sure of that.)
We bargained and I moved to an old
classroom in an old building. Propped
the door open. Kept a bowl of water
in the room. I could hear Ben among
other voices barking, howling in the
distance. Then they would all arrive—
Ben, his pals, maybe an unknown dog
or two, all of them thirsty and happy.
They drank, they flung themselves down
among the students. The students loved
it. They all wrote thirsty, happy poems.